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Building strong ties with teachers and connecting with a positive peer group set the stage for your child’s successful middle school experience. After the school day ends, kids face the reality of a full night of studying. Some middle schoolers report spending upward of five hours a night completing assignments and studying for tests. Creating a plan for tackling the rigors of a middle school day begins weeks ahead of ever setting foot on the school campus.
Focus questions: How much time did your child spend studying during the elementary school years? How much time does the average middle schooler spend on homework at your child’s school? What time commitments will your child have in the afterschool hours other than homework? Do you have an established time and place where homework is completed?
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In the weeks leading up to school, find thirty minutes of uninterrupted time to share with your child in mind mapping. The goal of this activity is to create a vivid picture of your child’s year-long goals. Ask your child to choose a location for the mind mapping activity. A trip to the park or a favorite restaurant for lunch may set the stage for a productive brainstorming session.
Read more about this topic on pages 54-56.
Focus questions: What academic goals do you have for your child this year? What would your child say was realistic, with respect to academic achievement this coming year? Beyond academics, what activities would your child like to participate in this coming year? How many goals will you create for the coming year? How often should you review your child’s progress toward the achievement of these goals?
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Building a house requires a specific set of tools and materials; tackling the academic challenge of a middle school day takes a specific set of tools and materials as well. Designating a specific location for all school-related activities is the first step in a series of tasks designed to bring organization to your child’s year.
Read more about this topic on pages 61-64.
Focus questions: Where does your child like to study? Does your child take breaks while studying? How long can your child focus on homework before taking a break? Does your child listen to music, watch TV or talk with friends while completing homework?
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In association with a backpack, your child’s binder is the critical link between school and home for all assignments and parent– school communication. It can be a challenge to create a system that meshes with your child’s preferences while meeting his teachers’ demands. The binder setup we describe here is meant to provide your child with a starting point for building an organized binder. As teachers become more explicit in their expectations, your child can adapt the binder to meet the new demands.
Read more about this topic on pages 64-66.
Focus questions: Whose responsibility is it to empty your child’s backpack? How many binders is your child required to have in middle school? Are there specific guidelines for how your child’s binder should be organized? Do these guidelines vary by teacher? What is your role in helping your child get organized?
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Assuming responsibility for meeting a teacher’s expectations doesn’t end when the last bell rings. Eventually, all students come face-to-face with a healthy portion of study time in the afterschool hours. Completing those assignments can keep students working late into the night. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to know that all of your child’s homework was completed before the midnight hour?
Read more about this topic on pages 74-77.
Focus questions: Whose responsibility is it to complete homework assignments? What are the consequences are in place at school when your child does not complete and return homework? How will you hand over responsibility for completing homework to your child and know that the homework is being completed? What is your child’s strategy for completing nightly homework?
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It takes time to adapt to a new learning environment. Change threatens a child’s sense of stability. Overcoming the challenges associated with change is easier for some kids than it is for others. Typically, a child will stop complaining about assignments, teacher personalities, and minimal time with friends after the first week or two of the new middle school year. The routine of moving from class to class starts to gel, and most kids adapt to their unfamiliar surroundings. If problems persist beyond the opening weeks of a new semester, it’s time for a conversation with your child. The longer a child harbors feelings of unhappiness, the greater effect these feelings will have on his ability to achieve.
Read more about this topic on pages 77-81.
Focus questions: What issues cause the greatest frustration between you and your child? How do you resolve conflicts in your home? Who will you contact at your child’s school when you have questions about classes or academic progress? What are your child’s learning strengths?
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The short answer is yes, under the right circumstances. Consider tutoring if you encounter any of the following situations:
1. Your child has an extended absence from a class in which
critical learning objectives were discussed.
2. Your child shows repeated signs of declining performance on
assignments, tests, and projects.
3. Your child will miss a week or more of school due to a family
trip or extracurricular commitment.
4. You hear your child make any of the following statements on
a regular basis: “I don’t understand what the teacher is talking
about,” “I can’t remember anything we learn in
class,” or “No
matter how hard I study, I still fail the tests.”
Read more about this topic on pages 81-84.
Focus questions: Where can you find qualified tutoring services? Who would be the ideal tutor for your child? Do you anticipate any time in the coming year when your child will miss over a week of school? What are the benefits to individual tutoring in your home versus a group setting at tutoring facility?
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Anticipate. Although your child’s homework load may increase in middle school it should not cut into his sleeping hours. If you anticipate an afterschool schedule filled with activity, consider the possibility of a less rigorous academic schedule. Remember, middle schoolers need downtime as well as social time with friends amidst the activity of a full schedule of academics and extracurriculars.
Participate. Prior to the start of a new school year or semester find time to brainstorm a list of goals with your child for the coming months. Kids have difficulty thinking long term so confine the time frame for each goal to a period of weeks rather than months. After the first few weeks of school find an afternoon or evening when your child can explain how his binder is organized. Take the discussion a step further by talking about how and where homework gets completed. Agree to set of homework expectations that you can both live with. Download the school supplies checklist before your next trip to the store.
Celebrate. Check in on your child’s progress toward achieving the goals you set. The weekends can be a time to celebrate forward progress as well as an opportunity to reset or adapt goals if you discover the original goals were unrealistic. Focus on celebrating achievements while striving for continued growth. Finding the balance between challenge and recognition can be difficult, but well worth the energy.
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What’s on your mind? Are you concerned about any of the focus topics discussed this week? Send Joe an email with your questions or concerns about this week’s focus topics. Or peek in on the online community of parents to see what people are talking about. Middle school classes and teachers each come with a unique set of challenges. Managing a growing list of assignments and expectations can quickly overwhelm a child without support. Creating a system for organizing homework and a routine for completing assignments can come as a welcome relief for both kids and parents.
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Mac users: control click on the "MP3" link above and choose
"Download Linked File" or "Save Link as"
Windows users: right click on the "MP3" link above and choose
"Save target as" or "Save Link as"
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Coaching Tip: Attempting to organize your child without her direct participation will ultimately result in frustration (both yours and hers).